My journey
Before I could even walk, I had fallen in love with music. I have a really visceral memory of attending WOMAD Festival in Reading with my parents as a toddler, and being enthralled by the ability of music to bring people together from all cultures and backgrounds.
At school I played piano and guitar, and I was lucky enough to travel to other countries with a guitar group, heading to Spain, Germany and even China! We also played at the Royal Albert Hall and Wigmore Hall.
At University, I studied PPE, but I quickly found my second home at University Radio York, the campus student station. I threw myself into broadcasting (if you’re familiar with some of the language we use around autism, it was a hyperfixation of mine). At times I appeared on air 18 hours a week, presenting programmes on sport, music, and news - I once even spent two hours learning to knit on air with a friend (it didn’t go well)!
In 2020, it was nearly time to graduate and I was getting ready to say a reluctant goodbye to the music world. Then in the middle of lockdown, I was lucky enough to win a competition called Demo Factor, which changed my life. I presented two shows on Absolute Radio, and then after more success at the Student Radio Awards, presented the Official Chart on Radio 1 with my best friend Numi.
From there I started working at KMFM in Kent, presenting their weekly chart show with Numi, and BBC Introducing in Berkshire. Alongside that I gained experience covering other shows, including a return to Radio 1 with Numi for early breakfast. I also hosted live events, from baking competitions and Christmas lights switch ons to gigs, awards nights and festival stages, including Reading Festival.
Nowadays, I love music as much as I ever have - as whilst I would say that I’m a bit disillusioned with the industry itself, I still love making, sharing, and experiencing sounds from all around the world.
At the same time, I know I am very lucky to have been in the right place at the right time several times to get started on my creative and musical journey - and to have the financial freedom to try it in the first place.
A big part of why I am the way that I am is that I’m autistic and I have ADHD. I discovered this later in life, having struggled with related insomnia, depression and anxiety for years. After diagnosis, I realised that the reason I could get on with so many groups of friends, and fit on a lot of contrasting radio formats, was because for years I’d been involuntarily ‘masking’ my personality to fit in around different people - as a kind of defense mechanism. When I realised this, I had a huge identity crisis - if I can be one person with that group of mates, but then be a totally different one on air at that station - who am I really? I’m now in a much better place with that, and I’m happy with the different sides to myself. Initially though, I came out of that crisis with two certainties: I love music, and I see the world as being deeply unfair. These two parts of me guide everything that I do.
As a conscious choice, I don’t share much of my personal life in any form of social or broadcast media, because I don’t want to encourage parasocial relationships, but one thing I am always happy to talk to people about is how I work in music while being neurodivergent. There are upsides to these disabilities, particularly in being creative, but they are disabilities nevertheless. I cope with them by learning through therapy to love my own quirks, by finding other neurodivergent friends - and also by avoiding anything which falls foul of my lack of self control! (No alcohol, caffeine, or even added sugar for me! So as much as I appreciate the gesture, please don’t buy me a drink if you see me at a gig…)
If I was to die tomorrow, I’d die happy, because I know I am extraordinarily lucky and I’ve been able to experience so much, largely due to privilege. However, I live by the motto ‘content, but never satisfied’. I’m not done yet, and I have so much more that I want to do! Ultimately, I come back to thinking about how the world is a very unfair place - if there is a purpose to my life it is to do a small part in trying to make it fairer.